Making Mistakes But Still Remain In Him

How do I even start to open my mouth and Call upon Him
How do I even have the guards to say His name
How do I even plead for His mercy and grace

Where do I go from here
What do I say to Him

What I feared most has come upon me

But in the midst of all these questions, He says harsh be still....................
I kept quiet for a moment and all i could hear was water from the mountain then He spoke and said Peace I give to you not as the world gives | My Peace I leave to you.

I asked Him how can you give me peace after this shamefulness I did the He says I came for those who have faults and sinned that they think no one will be able to rescue you.

You may feel down, dirty, shameful, filthy etc but He says come as you are and He will set you free

Does it mean when I come to Him I will live a free life from Challenges, Temptation, Persecution
Absolutely No but it means in every step of the way He is with me, Giving me the Strength to continue,
Giving me Hope, Restoring my Faith everyday, Availing His grace all the Time.

I wait and Judge myself
I tell Him but Lord I don't deserve to be your child; I tell Him what IF I keep on making these mistakes
There He says child Remain in Me and I will Remain in You

I prayed;

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for yet giving me another chance. Forgive me for my iniquities, faults, mistakes, for sinning before you. Take me again as your child, restore in me the joy of Salvation. Make me strong in my weaknesses. Father I give my life to you, let your Will be Done. In Jesus Christ's name I pray. Amen